Lifelong Sport

Ellen Van Neerven’s book “Personal Score” offers a poignant example of how sport can be a powerful vehicle for self-expression and belonging. Ellen recounts their journey through sport and self-identity, navigating the challenges of being a First Nations individual in Australia. On the football field, Ellen felt liberated from societal constraints and expectations, finding confidence and self-belief through the sport they loved.

On page 13 of Personal Score (a simply marvellous read from front to back) you’ll find a story of a young child playing in their first season in their first football (soccer) team and the immediate confidence boost they have as they realise they are fast and skilful.

They recount how their mother commented, after seeing them play for the first time, on how different they are on the field: “When I first saw you play, I was surprised at how aggressive you were.”

Having just explained over the previous few pages that as an AFAB (assigned female at birth) child growing up in rural Australia, they felt they had a very set place in society, Ellen goes onto share with us that on the football field they are free of those constraints, free of expectation. Ellen explains that this is “where I can express myself. On the field I can be determined and proud. I am finding faith in myself.”

Personal Score is a retelling of Ellen’s journey through sport and self-identity, of feeling the weight of their physical differences (they are a First Nations individual) as well as their love of soccer, but also their need to avoid drawing attention to themselves. Ellen takes us through these feelings that constrain their self-identity through to feeling the conflict and confusion of playing a game that developed in Britain, the country that waged so much war, hurt, trauma and atrocities on the First Nations people of Australia.

Their story tells us of a passionate sporting kid who has a multitude of struggles to go through as they grow up. Of course, there was all the normal teenager stuff, but on top is the racism, their appearance (“Why don’t you shave your legs and wear makeup?”, “I don’t have time to shave my legs or do that, I’m busy playing football.”) as well as both conformity and non-conformity to the typical gender stereotypes.

By introducing Ellen’s story, I am advocating the need to create a place where all people, including people just like Ellen, can belong. By creating the environment where everyone can be exactly who they are, we will serve them better by providing them with the best sporting experience and environment possible. This leads directly to fulfilling their need for a sense of belonging, directly driving their motivation to continue playing.

We have the power to create a place where, just like for Ellen, it is safe for people to belong. A place where they can be their real and full selves. No pretending, no fitting into an expectation. Just real, authentic belonging.

Imagine we created this sort of club environment, a place where anyone can belong and feel safe and included. How would they reward us? Most likely by returning year after year to play, compete and contribute. They would also become one of your club’s strongest ambassadors. Ellen’s story underscores the importance of creating sporting environments where individuals can be their true selves. By fostering inclusivity and belonging, we can provide the best possible experience for all participants, thereby enhancing their motivation to continue playing.